A magic way to win more friendships that no one can resist; even hardened criminals can be won over this way.
"I never met a man I did not like," said Will Rogers. Many people thought this was just another funny Rogers' remark, but one time when I met him with Amon Carter, of Fort Worth, I asked him, "Surely you can't like everybody?"
I knew he must meet bores, cheats, fourflushers just like the rest of us do. How can he possibly like even them?
Will was famous as a funnyman; but he was also a wise philosopher and he could be most serious when he wanted.
"Of course I don't approve of all the things that people do," he said, "but there is some goodness and some cussedness in all of us."
He continued, "If you know a man well enough you can always find something good in him and you can always find something interesting about him. It is just a matter of what you are looking for!"
"But what about the narrow-minded people? What about gossips? The people who do petty, mean little things? Do you like them, too?" I persisted.
"I once read somewhere," he said, "where someone asked Abe Lincoln that same question - why he refused to get mad at the people who abused him, ridiculed him and tried to discredit him."
"Lincoln replied that people's actions spring from their character and that many factors beyond their control went into making up their character - where they were born, the people they had associated with, and a lot of other things."
"Therefore,' said Lincoln, 'you shouldn't become angry with a person who blocks your path any more than you would with a tree which the wind blew across the road.'"
Will Rogers had no more reason for hating a person who happened to have been unfortunate enough to have acquired a habit of gossip than he did for hating a person who was foolish enough to neglect his teeth.
He didn't like gossip. Few people do; and he didn't like pettiness. He looked upon them as foolish behavior rather than evil behavior.
I am convinced that Will Rogers really did like every person he ever met.
There is an interesting thing about liking people, and that is they in turn like you. If you must start a rumor about somebody start it by saying, "I sure like that person."
This gets back to them and they say, "Well, I always liked him, too."
Another funny thing about gossip is that if they tell you things about others, you can just bet they will tell others things about you.
While there is always a temptation to listen to gossip, just remember while you are on the listening end this time with this gossiper, the next time you will be on the receiving end when the gossiper gets elsewhere.
Beware of the Gossip!
Avoid the company of the gossip. Don't give them a chance to be with you, find something out about you, then carry that story into another circle.
I am convinced that this trait of his character was largely responsible for Will Rogers being the most universally liked person I have ever heard about.
Will Rogers liked everybody and everybody liked Will Rogers!
Elmer Wheeler
From How to Sell Yourself to Others
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The law of Compensation
Crowd out all inferior thoughts by superior thoughts, evil thoughts by good thoughts, ugly thoughts by beautiful thoughts, distressing thoughts by pleasant thoughts, and you will begin to overcome the growth of all negative and confused states of wrong and discord. In other words, learn to think constructively of all persons, all things, all events, and all circumstances. Appraise them from the ideal point of view. As you do this you will gradually transform your whole existence for the better. These are the means whereby you may steadily promote your welfare and advancement.
As you train yourself to mentally look for the good, you will move towards the good; and, as you form higher and larger conceptions of the good, these elements will begin to find expression in your words, acts, character, person, talents, powers, attainments, and achievements; that is, all things in your life will commence to improve as the direct result of your improved thinking.
This process does not imply, however, that you are to ignore the wrongs of life, the empty places, and the undeveloped states of being; but that you are to think right through and beyond them towards the hidden good or the principle within that is ever seeking a higher and fuller expression. You will, therefore, cease to condemn and to criticize in a destructive manner; instead you will seek to bring out the good in yourself and in others, and to discover and develop the greater possibilities everywhere.
Raymond Holliwell
As you train yourself to mentally look for the good, you will move towards the good; and, as you form higher and larger conceptions of the good, these elements will begin to find expression in your words, acts, character, person, talents, powers, attainments, and achievements; that is, all things in your life will commence to improve as the direct result of your improved thinking.
This process does not imply, however, that you are to ignore the wrongs of life, the empty places, and the undeveloped states of being; but that you are to think right through and beyond them towards the hidden good or the principle within that is ever seeking a higher and fuller expression. You will, therefore, cease to condemn and to criticize in a destructive manner; instead you will seek to bring out the good in yourself and in others, and to discover and develop the greater possibilities everywhere.
Raymond Holliwell
Friday, June 20, 2008
The Parable of Brother Leo
An old legend tells of a French monastery that was well-known throughout Europe because of the extraordinary leadership of a man known only as Brother Leo.
Several monks began a pilgrimage to visit Brother Leo to learn from him. Almost immediately, the monks began to bicker as to who should do various chores. On the third day they met another monk who was also going to the monastery.
This monk never complained or shirked a duty. Whenever the others would fight over a chore, he would gracefully volunteer to do it himself. By the last day, the other monks were following his example, and everyone worked together smoothly.
When they reached the monastery and asked to see Brother Leo, the man who greeted them laughed. "But our brother is among you!" pointing to the fellow who had joined them late in the trip.
Today, many people seek leadership positions not so much for what they can do for others, but for what the position can do for them: status, connections, perks, or future advantages. As a result, they do service primarily as an investment, a way to build an impressive résumé.
The parable about Brother Leo teaches another model of leadership, where leaders are more preoccupied with serving than being followed, with giving than getting, with doing than demanding. It's leadership based on example, not command. It's called servant leadership.
Can you imagine how much better things would be if more politicians, educators, and business executives saw themselves as servant leaders?
Michael Josephson
www.charactercounts.org
Several monks began a pilgrimage to visit Brother Leo to learn from him. Almost immediately, the monks began to bicker as to who should do various chores. On the third day they met another monk who was also going to the monastery.
This monk never complained or shirked a duty. Whenever the others would fight over a chore, he would gracefully volunteer to do it himself. By the last day, the other monks were following his example, and everyone worked together smoothly.
When they reached the monastery and asked to see Brother Leo, the man who greeted them laughed. "But our brother is among you!" pointing to the fellow who had joined them late in the trip.
Today, many people seek leadership positions not so much for what they can do for others, but for what the position can do for them: status, connections, perks, or future advantages. As a result, they do service primarily as an investment, a way to build an impressive résumé.
The parable about Brother Leo teaches another model of leadership, where leaders are more preoccupied with serving than being followed, with giving than getting, with doing than demanding. It's leadership based on example, not command. It's called servant leadership.
Can you imagine how much better things would be if more politicians, educators, and business executives saw themselves as servant leaders?
Michael Josephson
www.charactercounts.org
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Going the Extra Mile
An important principle of success in all walks of life and in all occupations is a willingness to GO THE EXTRA MILE; which means the rendering of more and better service than that for which one is paid, and giving it in a positive mental attitude.
Search wherever you will for a single sound argument against this principle, and you will not find it; nor will you find a single instance of enduring success which was not attained in part by its application.
The principle is not the creation of man. It is a part of Nature's handiwork, for it is obvious that every living creature below the intelligence of man is forced to apply the principle in order to survive.
We may disregard the principle if we choose, but we cannot do so and at the same time enjoy the fruits of enduring success.
Observe how Nature applies this principle in the production of food that grows from the soil, where the farmer is forced to GO THE EXTRA MILE by clearing the land, plowing it, and planting the seed at the right time of the year, for none of which he receives any pay in advance..
But, observe that if he does his work in harmony with Nature's laws, and performs the necessary amount of labor, Nature takes over the job where the farmer's labor ends, germinates the seed he plants and develops it into a crop of food.
And, observe thoughtfully this significant fact: For every grain of wheat or corn he plants in the soil Nature yields him perhaps a hundred grains, thus enabling him to benefit by the law of increasing returns.
Nature GOES THE EXTRA MILE by producing enough of everything for her needs, together with a surplus for emergencies and waste; for example, the fruit on the trees, the bloom from which the fruit is grown, frogs in the pond and fish in the seas.
Nature GOES THE EXTRA MILE by producing enough of every living thing to insure the perpetuation of the species, allowing for emergencies of every kind. If this were not true the species of all living things would soon vanish.
Some believe that the beasts of the jungle and the birds of the air live without labor, but thoughtful people know that this is not true. It is true that Nature provides the sources of supply of food for every living thing, but every creature must labor before it may partake of that food.
Thus we see that Nature discourages the habit which some have acquired of trying to get something for nothing.
The advantages of the habit of GOING THE EXTRA MILE are definite and understandable. Let us examine some of them and be convinced:
The habit brings the individual to the favorable attention of those who can and will provide opportunities for self-advancement. It tends to make one indispensable, in many different human relationships, and it therefore enables one to command more than average compensation for personal services.
It leads to mental growth and to physical skill and perfection in many forms of endeavor, thereby adding to one's earning capacity.
Napoleon Hill
From Master Key To Riches
Search wherever you will for a single sound argument against this principle, and you will not find it; nor will you find a single instance of enduring success which was not attained in part by its application.
The principle is not the creation of man. It is a part of Nature's handiwork, for it is obvious that every living creature below the intelligence of man is forced to apply the principle in order to survive.
We may disregard the principle if we choose, but we cannot do so and at the same time enjoy the fruits of enduring success.
Observe how Nature applies this principle in the production of food that grows from the soil, where the farmer is forced to GO THE EXTRA MILE by clearing the land, plowing it, and planting the seed at the right time of the year, for none of which he receives any pay in advance..
But, observe that if he does his work in harmony with Nature's laws, and performs the necessary amount of labor, Nature takes over the job where the farmer's labor ends, germinates the seed he plants and develops it into a crop of food.
And, observe thoughtfully this significant fact: For every grain of wheat or corn he plants in the soil Nature yields him perhaps a hundred grains, thus enabling him to benefit by the law of increasing returns.
Nature GOES THE EXTRA MILE by producing enough of everything for her needs, together with a surplus for emergencies and waste; for example, the fruit on the trees, the bloom from which the fruit is grown, frogs in the pond and fish in the seas.
Nature GOES THE EXTRA MILE by producing enough of every living thing to insure the perpetuation of the species, allowing for emergencies of every kind. If this were not true the species of all living things would soon vanish.
Some believe that the beasts of the jungle and the birds of the air live without labor, but thoughtful people know that this is not true. It is true that Nature provides the sources of supply of food for every living thing, but every creature must labor before it may partake of that food.
Thus we see that Nature discourages the habit which some have acquired of trying to get something for nothing.
The advantages of the habit of GOING THE EXTRA MILE are definite and understandable. Let us examine some of them and be convinced:
The habit brings the individual to the favorable attention of those who can and will provide opportunities for self-advancement. It tends to make one indispensable, in many different human relationships, and it therefore enables one to command more than average compensation for personal services.
It leads to mental growth and to physical skill and perfection in many forms of endeavor, thereby adding to one's earning capacity.
Napoleon Hill
From Master Key To Riches
Monday, February 25, 2008
Run Your Own Race
Think back to a time in your life when you tried something new.
When I was a teenager I volunteered to work the water station at a 10k race. It was called the "Heaven Can Wait" 10k run and ironically, it was sponsored by the local cemetery.
My job was to pass out water to the runners. I remember being so excited to see all the different kinds of people who passed by and grabbed a cup of water. Some ran past, some walked past and a few wheeled past. I saw so many types of people doing it, I thought maybe I can do it too!
So the next year I signed up for the race and gave it a shot. Back then I didn't do much to prepare except jog around my neighborhood. I never tracked how far I jogged, or timed myself, I just ran around. I had no time goals for the race, no specialized training, no game plan, nothing. Needless to say that I prepare differently when I run races today, but back then my only goal was to finish.
On the day of the race, it was incredibly hot and humid. I remember struggling at about the 5th mile, thinking, "I must be crazy, why did I do this? What was I thinking? And at one point, I said, "I am never doing this again!"
Have you ever felt that way about something? You eagerly undertake a goal and in the midst of it comes a moment of struggle, and you realize it is much harder than you imagined it would be?
That first 10k race was quite an experience. I jogged, I walked, I jogged and I walked. At times, I didn't know if I could finish. Then came a defining moment.
At one point near the end, a 70 year old man ran past me, very very fast, and I felt embarrassed that I was 50+ years younger than he and I couldn't even keep up with him. I felt defeated for a second. But then I realized something. He was running his race and I was running mine.
He had different capacities, experience, training and goals for himself. I had mine. Remember my goal was merely to finish.
How often in life do we compare ourselves to others and feel disappointed in ourselves when we really shouldn't? After a minute, it hit me that this was a lesson I could draw from. I learned something about myself in that moment. I turned my embarrassment into inspiration.
I decided that I would not give up on running races, in fact, I would run even more races and I would learn how to train and prepare properly and one day I would be one of those 70 year olds who was still running. As I crossed the finish line, I was proud of my accomplishment.
I am so glad I didn't give up on running. Today it is an incredible source of joy in my life. I have run several races since then, 5ks, 10ks and I run purely for fun. I have studied running books, made friendships with other runners and I can report that I love it now more than ever.
In life we all have those moments where we compare ourselves to others. It's only natural. Don't allow those moments to disempower you. Turn them into motivation and let them inspire you. Use them to show you what is possible. Every struggle is rich with opportunity. You define your own race when you define your own goals.
With the proper preparation, coaching and conditioning, you can improve your results to achieve anything you want in life.
The impact of fitness and nutrition on my life has been remarkable. I can do things now that I could not even do in my 20's all because of coaching, proper nutrition and conditioning.
You decide your race and you decide your own pace. Rarely in life will your destiny be determined by one little race.
"Success is a peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you are capable." - Coach John Wooden
Life is a series of races. There are lessons in every race. There are life lessons to be learned every single day. If you don't win the race, but you get the lesson, and grow, you are truly a success.
Live Your Dreams.
Jill Koenig
Jill Koenig, the "Goal Guru" is one of America's Top Goal Strategist's. A best selling Author, Coach and Motivational Speaker, she is an expert on the subjects of Goal Setting, Time Management and Business Success. Her Goal in life is to help you unleash your untapped potential. Visit her website at: www.GoalGuru.com
When I was a teenager I volunteered to work the water station at a 10k race. It was called the "Heaven Can Wait" 10k run and ironically, it was sponsored by the local cemetery.
My job was to pass out water to the runners. I remember being so excited to see all the different kinds of people who passed by and grabbed a cup of water. Some ran past, some walked past and a few wheeled past. I saw so many types of people doing it, I thought maybe I can do it too!
So the next year I signed up for the race and gave it a shot. Back then I didn't do much to prepare except jog around my neighborhood. I never tracked how far I jogged, or timed myself, I just ran around. I had no time goals for the race, no specialized training, no game plan, nothing. Needless to say that I prepare differently when I run races today, but back then my only goal was to finish.
On the day of the race, it was incredibly hot and humid. I remember struggling at about the 5th mile, thinking, "I must be crazy, why did I do this? What was I thinking? And at one point, I said, "I am never doing this again!"
Have you ever felt that way about something? You eagerly undertake a goal and in the midst of it comes a moment of struggle, and you realize it is much harder than you imagined it would be?
That first 10k race was quite an experience. I jogged, I walked, I jogged and I walked. At times, I didn't know if I could finish. Then came a defining moment.
At one point near the end, a 70 year old man ran past me, very very fast, and I felt embarrassed that I was 50+ years younger than he and I couldn't even keep up with him. I felt defeated for a second. But then I realized something. He was running his race and I was running mine.
He had different capacities, experience, training and goals for himself. I had mine. Remember my goal was merely to finish.
How often in life do we compare ourselves to others and feel disappointed in ourselves when we really shouldn't? After a minute, it hit me that this was a lesson I could draw from. I learned something about myself in that moment. I turned my embarrassment into inspiration.
I decided that I would not give up on running races, in fact, I would run even more races and I would learn how to train and prepare properly and one day I would be one of those 70 year olds who was still running. As I crossed the finish line, I was proud of my accomplishment.
I am so glad I didn't give up on running. Today it is an incredible source of joy in my life. I have run several races since then, 5ks, 10ks and I run purely for fun. I have studied running books, made friendships with other runners and I can report that I love it now more than ever.
In life we all have those moments where we compare ourselves to others. It's only natural. Don't allow those moments to disempower you. Turn them into motivation and let them inspire you. Use them to show you what is possible. Every struggle is rich with opportunity. You define your own race when you define your own goals.
With the proper preparation, coaching and conditioning, you can improve your results to achieve anything you want in life.
The impact of fitness and nutrition on my life has been remarkable. I can do things now that I could not even do in my 20's all because of coaching, proper nutrition and conditioning.
You decide your race and you decide your own pace. Rarely in life will your destiny be determined by one little race.
"Success is a peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you are capable." - Coach John Wooden
Life is a series of races. There are lessons in every race. There are life lessons to be learned every single day. If you don't win the race, but you get the lesson, and grow, you are truly a success.
Live Your Dreams.
Jill Koenig
Jill Koenig, the "Goal Guru" is one of America's Top Goal Strategist's. A best selling Author, Coach and Motivational Speaker, she is an expert on the subjects of Goal Setting, Time Management and Business Success. Her Goal in life is to help you unleash your untapped potential. Visit her website at: www.GoalGuru.com
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Enjoy Yourself Everyday
People are often puzzled by the idea of making life more enjoyable by changing their viewpoints. Let's examine it:
Suppose you are not feeling well one day, yet you accompany some friends on a leisurely drive through the beautiful countryside. Someone calls your attention to a lovely lake, but because of your illness, you cannot give it your attention or interest. Someone else remarks about a magnificent mountain in the distance, but you hardly hear him. You pass one lovely scene after another, yet they have no meaning to you. Because your illness has taken all your energy, you have none to spare in enjoying yourself. It is the same to your mind as if these natural beauties didn't exist at all. In your present ill state, they have neither existence nor attraction.
But the next day you recover. You feel fine. There is no inward attention to anything; you are outward bound once more. So again you go on a drive; you visit the very same places. But now, everything is completely different. You enjoy the lovely lake and magnificent mountain. You respond to them. You enjoy yourself.
How come? It was the very same scenery both times. But on the second trip you were different. You saw everything in an entirely new way. You had the inner freedom to see and appreciate your outer world. Like magic, your changed mental viewpoint changed the world for you.
It is difficult for people to grasp that the very same principle holds true elsewhere in life. Yet it is absolutely so. When we are inwardly ill at ease we do not really see things as they are; we see them as we are. And there is a world of difference - an actual world of difference - in the two viewpoints.
As we elevate our mental view points we also elevate our world. How is this accomplished? Enjoyment results from discard, not from acquisition. Discard of what? Of the very things we really want to lose - our acquired negative attitudes.
Enjoyment of life is not the presence of something outside ourselves; it is the absence of something within ourselves. Gloom is a state of inner blockage of your True Self; enjoyment is its release. Just as a balloon rises to greater heights by discarding weights, so do we ascend as we toss out negativities.
Vernon Howard
From Psycho-Pictography
Suppose you are not feeling well one day, yet you accompany some friends on a leisurely drive through the beautiful countryside. Someone calls your attention to a lovely lake, but because of your illness, you cannot give it your attention or interest. Someone else remarks about a magnificent mountain in the distance, but you hardly hear him. You pass one lovely scene after another, yet they have no meaning to you. Because your illness has taken all your energy, you have none to spare in enjoying yourself. It is the same to your mind as if these natural beauties didn't exist at all. In your present ill state, they have neither existence nor attraction.
But the next day you recover. You feel fine. There is no inward attention to anything; you are outward bound once more. So again you go on a drive; you visit the very same places. But now, everything is completely different. You enjoy the lovely lake and magnificent mountain. You respond to them. You enjoy yourself.
How come? It was the very same scenery both times. But on the second trip you were different. You saw everything in an entirely new way. You had the inner freedom to see and appreciate your outer world. Like magic, your changed mental viewpoint changed the world for you.
It is difficult for people to grasp that the very same principle holds true elsewhere in life. Yet it is absolutely so. When we are inwardly ill at ease we do not really see things as they are; we see them as we are. And there is a world of difference - an actual world of difference - in the two viewpoints.
As we elevate our mental view points we also elevate our world. How is this accomplished? Enjoyment results from discard, not from acquisition. Discard of what? Of the very things we really want to lose - our acquired negative attitudes.
Enjoyment of life is not the presence of something outside ourselves; it is the absence of something within ourselves. Gloom is a state of inner blockage of your True Self; enjoyment is its release. Just as a balloon rises to greater heights by discarding weights, so do we ascend as we toss out negativities.
Vernon Howard
From Psycho-Pictography
Words Are Weapons
With four young daughters, 14 and under, I frequently find myself correcting, disciplining, or simply protesting unnecessary and unkind comments certain to anger or wound a sister and evoke counterattacks that fill the air with nastiness.
Hoping to get them to think before they speak in the future, I often ask, “What did you expect to accomplish by that remark?” and “Did it make things better or worse?”
It disappoints and frustrates me that my children are so often unkind to one another and so quick to make foolish comments that have no constructive purpose. Yet it’s even more troublesome when adults engage in the same senseless behavior.
It may be a husband’s unfiltered remark about his wife’s weight or new wrinkles, a parents’ comment, “That’s why you have no friends” or ‘Why can’t you be more like your brother?” or an aunt’s unwanted advice, “If you want to get married, lose weight.”
Sometimes it’s the tone or timing of an otherwise proper statement that makes it sting. We have to remember that words are weapons, sometimes weapons of mass destruction.
Verbal assaulters may defend their unguided missiles with claimed innocence: “I didn’t mean it that way” when the real question is “How was the remark likely to be received?”
Another lame excuse is “I was just telling the truth” without considering whether that truth needed to be said. Honesty does not preclude tact.
We may not always be able to shield ourselves from the darts and arrows of inconsiderate or mean-spirited folks, but we can resolve to be more thoughtful in our own communications.
We can be more kind more consistently. We can follow the Golden Rule. Remember, character counts.
Michael Josephson
www.charactercounts.org
Hoping to get them to think before they speak in the future, I often ask, “What did you expect to accomplish by that remark?” and “Did it make things better or worse?”
It disappoints and frustrates me that my children are so often unkind to one another and so quick to make foolish comments that have no constructive purpose. Yet it’s even more troublesome when adults engage in the same senseless behavior.
It may be a husband’s unfiltered remark about his wife’s weight or new wrinkles, a parents’ comment, “That’s why you have no friends” or ‘Why can’t you be more like your brother?” or an aunt’s unwanted advice, “If you want to get married, lose weight.”
Sometimes it’s the tone or timing of an otherwise proper statement that makes it sting. We have to remember that words are weapons, sometimes weapons of mass destruction.
Verbal assaulters may defend their unguided missiles with claimed innocence: “I didn’t mean it that way” when the real question is “How was the remark likely to be received?”
Another lame excuse is “I was just telling the truth” without considering whether that truth needed to be said. Honesty does not preclude tact.
We may not always be able to shield ourselves from the darts and arrows of inconsiderate or mean-spirited folks, but we can resolve to be more thoughtful in our own communications.
We can be more kind more consistently. We can follow the Golden Rule. Remember, character counts.
Michael Josephson
www.charactercounts.org
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